Best Places in the World to Ride Out a Zombie Apocalypse

From Romero's original films to AMC's forthcoming "The Walking Dead," zombies pretty much own pop culture. If there's anything these cinematic chronicles of brain-snatching have taught us is that the zombie apocalypse is very real and it's coming. The only question is when, where and whether the zombies will be slow or fast. They'll probably be slow. Fast zombies make no sense, right?

So, long story short, you are probably going to die a horrible death. What's worse, is you are probably going to help a bunch of other people die horrible deaths. Either by becoming a zombie or by becoming one of those disagreeable jackasses that populate zombie entertainment. So let's try to even the odds a bit. There are some places you can sack out until a cure is found. These are the perfect places to lay low, eat canned soup and wait for that pesky apocalypse to blow over. Of course, if this were a zombie movie you'd make one little mistake which would put you on the road to ruin. With that in mind, be careful.


7. Antarctica

As long as you have enough space heaters, you could potentially ride out the zombie apocalypse in a majestic winter wonderland. The continent boasts no permanent residents, aside from several governmental installations. These installations are also heavily stocked with food and supplies. Also, we all know zombies don't know the first thing about layering. They'd be toast at the first sign of a wintry gale force wind.

Also works: The North Pole. This could be a safe haven or it could be your ultimate childhood nightmare brought to life. Two words: Zombie Santa.

 

6. Rainforests - South America

The lush South American rainforests could be the perfect vacation spot away from the barbaric end of human civilization. There's plenty to eat and, most importantly, not that many people around. Hell, the cure for zombie-ism could be resting inside the flora and fauna that surrounds you. You could go Mosquito Coast on your off-time and try to find the right plant. However, this respite would be cut short if the zombie plague spreads to animals. Can you imagine a horde of zombie snakes? Indiana Jones would be pissed.

Also works: Ancient Pyramids. Withstanding tourists, the pyramids are also devoid of human life. Unless the zombie infection spreads to the way, way, way undead (Mummies) you should be fine.

 

5. South Florida - Florida, USA

If zombies move slow, then it would reason that zombies made from senior citizens would move extra slow. Just lock yourself into some condo and live a relatively stress-free life. You can probably even forage for supplies past 7 pm, once grandma and grandpa zombie have watched their stories and are in for the night. However, South Florida does suck so try not to throw yourself to the undead out of desperation.

Also works: A cruise ship. Assuming no infected citizens get on board, you should be relatively safe floating on the ocean. There's plenty of buffet food to eat and plenty of shuffleboard to play.

 

4. The International Space Station - Outer Space

The astronauts holed up at the ISS have a pretty good shot of making it. There is plenty of space food and, due to the station's recent ascension as a Foursquare venue, plenty of Internet bandwidth. So just bunker down and keep hitting refresh on CNN until you start seeing some victorious headlines. However, this is null and void if the zombie infection comes from a meteor or something. It will probably rip through the space station, making you and your NASA cohorts the first ones to go. Sorry guys.

Also works: A submarine. Unless zombies infect the burgeoning mermaid population, you should be safe hiding out here for a while. The depressurization afterward may hurt more than getting your brains eaten, though.

 

3. Switzerland

The Swiss people seem particularly able to survive a zombie attack. Contrary to their neutral reputation, most Swiss citizens are trained with firearms from an early age. The country also boasts miles and miles of underground bunkers which, rumor has it, can store the entire population for up to two years. Plus, there's all of that sweet, sweet chocolate. Not sure why that is a plus, however. I just like chocolate.

Also works: Montana. This state could be the "last best place" for survival from zombies. The state is filled to the brim with armed and angry militias. It's like Switzerland, but really pissed off.

 

2. Australia

Unless the outbreak starts in Australia, there's a pretty good chance the country will seal off their borders once some zombies get caught on tape. Australians will breathe a sigh of relief knowing their country is safe from both zombies and horrible American films like "Kangaroo Jack." Plus, being as how their society will be left mostly intact, it would be a great place to get some fresh grub. Unless, that is, the only thing left to eat is Vegemite. In that case, you may want to switch to brains.

Also works: Caribbean Islands. This could be risky though given the nation's propensity for terrifying voodoo rituals.

 

1. Fort Knox - Kentucky, USA

The depository for all of America's gold would be the perfect place to lay low while zombies eat all of it's people. The place is locked down and filled to the brim with all kinds of zombie crushing weapons. You are going to want to get yourself to a lower level, though. It's only a matter of time before that cigar-chomping general becomes a brain-chomping general.

Also works: A check cashing store. Those places are more guarded than my ex-wife at therapy.

 

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6 comments
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Bora Bora

Posted on 6/29/2011 12:27 pm | Reply
  • shipofthesun shipofthesun

This list is so, so...incomplete. here the better one:3. A Missile Silo in North Dakota. What, zombies are going to cross 800,000 yards of open....grass, only to find you half a mile below the surface behind blast proof doors sitting in nuclear powered comfort, stocked to the gills and armed to the teeth with the finest in brutal cold war weaponry? I think that's a stretch for the Marine Corp, much less zombies of any stripe.2. Top of Mt. Washington, New Hampshire. Windspeeds can hit 231 mph, so you can sit in the weather station at the top, sippin' your hot toddy, and watch as Jack and Jill Zombie stagger up the hill, and then get blown off the top to be impaled on the jagged rocks below. Comfy.1. McMurdo Station, Antarctica. Zombies would have to be able to board a ship, stagger through the ice and snow to find the station, and then do battle with you, that is, if you decide to come outside of the warm well stocked buildings. I say, do some research, let the zombies stagger around all they want, and see just how cold it has to get to actually freeze and incapacitate a zombie, THEN you go out and shoot them. Easy.

Posted on 10/31/2010 9:57 pm | Reply
  • emily emily

Am surprised nobody mentioned the effects of heat on the undead. A decaying corpse in a rain forest would rot and be consumed pretty quickly by maggots and other creatures.And in a place like Egypt or Australia, the zombies would be turned into dried up logs by the dry desert heat.

Posted on 10/30/2010 2:21 pm | Reply
  • steve989 steve989

What a dumb side comment about the Caribbean. Most of the islands are christian. Voodoo is 2% for Haiti and that's about it.Secondly. it's not one nation, it's many nations. You'd never say the nation of North America.

Posted on 10/30/2010 10:31 am | Reply
  • backhandman backhandman

most of those locations are horiable. one way or another zombies will find you they will not stop. if one zombie knows where you are. sooner or later they will all know. the best one on this list is Antarctica (NORTH POLE). cold weather will freeze zombies in their tracks. Northern Canada would be my choice. for a person that knows how to gather food this would be the best place. when your trolling for food and spot a frozen zombie just remove its head. no liquid blood to accidently come in contact with you. lol people just need to think. chainsaws and lawnmowers are not good weapons. getting away and staying quiet is the best strategy

Posted on 10/30/2010 2:24 am | Reply
  • jordotech jordotech

I used to work on oil rigs and I always thought they'd do nicely ... or a cruise ship yeaaa... a cruise ship zombie movie would rule, has that been done?

Posted on 10/29/2010 11:12 am | Reply